Wording Recommendations

Save the Dates

Invitations

Reception Card

Reply Card

Digital RSVP

Info Card

Rehearsal Dinner

For save the dates, less is more. You should include the following information: 

• Wording that tells recipients to "Save the date." 

• Your names: first names only (casual style), first and last names (casual style), or full names (formal style).

• The date of your wedding, including the year. You do not need to mention the time on your save the dates. 

• Place: You only need to list the city and state. You can save the actual venue info for your formal wedding invitations. 

• Your wedding website URL (and password if your site will be password protected). 

• It's a good idea to say: Formal invitation to follow.

SAVE THE DATE WORDING EXAMPLES:

The first line of the invitation wording is the “host line.” As the hosts, these are the people (or person) inviting the guests (and/or paying for the wedding). Traditional wedding custom of the past assumed that the parents of the bride pay for the wedding and are therefore the hosts. Today, however, it’s done in variety of different ways. The host line should be indicated as follows:

• The names of married couples are connected by “and” and are listed on the same line. The most traditional way is Mr. and Mrs. John Daniels. If the wife did not take her husband's last name or if she wishes to have her first name listed, you may write it by using Ms. rather than Mrs. (as Mrs. next to the husband’s name would indicate divorce)–it should be Ms. Elizabeth Daniels and Mr. John Daniels or, if different last name, Ms. Elizabeth Whitford and Mr. John Daniels.

• Married same-sex and nonbinary couples should be listed in alphabetical order by first name if they have the same last name: Anna and Watson Bartley-Smith and by alphabetical order by surname if they have different last names: Mr. Sean Baxter and Mr. Anthony Payne or Sky Edwards and Missy Zane.

• Divorced couples who are co-hosting their child’s wedding can be listed as the woman first alone in the first line and then the man listed below. If one or both of the parents is remarried and you would like to include the spouse name(s) you would include them on each respective line with the parent’s name (per the etiquette rules listed in the above two bullets). You would not connect the names of the divorced couple with “and” but if you could include “together with” or list them in the same line with some sort of divider such as: Ms. Anna Smith | Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Connelly. Same-sex and nonbinary divorced couples would be treated in the same way, listed in alphabetical order.

• If the second set of parents are also hosting, you would list them under the first set of parents preceded by “and” or “together with.” 

• If the couple is hosting the wedding, you would begin with their names. Bride listed before the groom or in alphabetical for nonbinary and same-sex couples.

• If the couple and their parents are hosting together (or it’s complicated and there are too many names to list) you can also say “Together with their families” as the host line. This can imply that the couple and their families are hosting the wedding together.

INVITATION CARD WORDING EXAMPLES:

A reception card is needed only if your reception is being held at a different location from your ceremony.

• It should say something like "Dinner and dancing to follow" or "Reception to follow" or "Please join us at the reception."

• List the time and date. Or if it's directly after the ceremony and you'll be providing transportation, you can leave the time off.

• If you will be providing transportation from the ceremony to the reception, you can list this info on the reception card by saying "Transportation will be provided from the ceremony to the reception."

• List the venue name and city and state. The street address is needed only if it's a private residence or an address that is not easily found online.

• If you are doing a reception card, then attire should be listed on the reception card (not the formal invitation card for the ceremony).

• For a less formal treatment and to minimize the number of cards in an invitation suite (if you're not doing an info card), some couples elect to list their website on the reception card by saying "For more details, please visit our website www.URL.com." If it's password protected, don't forget to include the password as well.

R.S.V.P. are the initials for the French words Respondez, s’il vous plait, which translate to “Please respond,” so if using R.S.V.P. on your reply card, it should not be preceded by the word “please.” You may instead use “Please reply,” “Kindly reply,” or “The favor/favour of your reply is requested” in place of R.S.V.P. Whichever you choose, it should match the wording style/formality of your invitation card. 

Reply cards should have an M and a line for your guests to write in their name. You may include the traditional responses:

___ accepts

___ regrets

or

___ accepts with pleasure

__ declines with regret.

You may also simply use a sentence asking for a "reply by" date or "The favor of a prompt reply is requested" at the top or bottom of the card and leave the rest blank. This is a more elegant solution and leaves room for your guest to write in their reply (as well as include a personal note). 

One of the questions we get asked most frequently is: "Is it okay to do a digital RSVP that does not get mailed back?" The short answer is yes.

• However, if you're hosting a very formal wedding or if a traditional treatment is important for you, then we would suggest doing a traditional reply card set that gets mailed back to you. Or if you are a sentimental person and like the idea of receiving mail as well as keeping your handwritten replies, then it sounds like a traditional reply set would be the right choice for you.

• More and more modern couples are choosing to do digital reply cards for the following reasons:

  • If you're sending out your invites later than you'd like (2 months in advance or less), having people reply digitally cuts out the waiting period of receiving your replies via mail.

  • It makes more sense to go digital if you have a large number of international recipients on your guest list.

  • If you're asking guests to reply via your website, you're often able to ask more questions, such as dietary restrictions or which hotel they plan to stay at, etc.

  • Website RSVPs will populate into a spreadsheet in the back end, which will cut down your administrative work.

• The same etiquette applies to digital RSVP cards as mentioned above. Be sure your wording matches the tone and level of formality of your other wording.

• If you're asking people to RSVP via your website, don't forget to list the password if your site is password protected.

• We do recommend an actual RSVP card for digital RSVP rather than tacking the RSVP wording onto your info card. We see more success with people replying in a timely fashion when there's a specific RSVP card with an "RSVP by" date or wording that says something like: "The favor of a prompt reply is requested."

An info card is needed if you're hosting other events that everyone is invited to, or as a way to list your website (and password if applicable).

• It can be a "Weekend Events" card or booklet if there are many events to mention.

• Most people put travel and accommodations info on their website and write something like "Please visit our website for travel, accommodations, and additional details."

• If you do not have an event website, then be sure to list all important info on your info card, such as room blocks, transportation info, etc.

• For a more traditional treatment, we'd suggest doing a separate "Accommodations" card and a separate "Details" card that could contain any other pertinent info.

It is perfectly acceptable to include a rehearsal dinner invitation in the invitation suite and simply print a smaller quantity, to be included only in the envelopes of those invited.

• If a different person/family is hosting the rehearsal dinner, they can be listed in the host line.

• Be sure to include all of the important details: host(s), date, time, place, attire, and how to RSVP.

• You may either ask people to RSVP on the rehearsal dinner card to an email address or phone number or online via a URL.

• If you're doing a traditional reply set that gets mailed back to you, you can create two versions of your reply card. One version would have the rehearsal dinner listed under Accepts and the other version would not have the rehearsal dinner listed.

• The design can match the wedding invitation suite or it can introduce another element of design.

• Some decide to mail out the rehearsal dinner separately from the invitation suite for the following reasons:

  • The details are not finalized in time

  • The hosts want to take care of it themselves and have the envelope come from their household

  • The design needs to be so different that it would seem inappropriate to include with the wedding invitation suite

  • A digital design, such as Paperless Post, makes more sense in terms of collecting RSVPs

REHEARSAL DINNER WORDING EXAMPLES: